As I walked in to work, this man said “You look very nice today!”
I smiled with a big “ Thank you’l.
Immediately under my breath I said “ Except for the fact that my hair looks like shit!”

Now why did I say that to myself?

I used to be really bad at taking compliments but have worked on it over the years and tried to receive them and be thankful.

Not sure what triggered that response ( except that it is time to get my hair done).

I don’t even know what to ask but I figured I need some coaching around it. Thanks!

ANSWER:
Hi Friend!
Great awareness here! I am so glad you brought this to coaching.
Approaching this with curiosity rather than judgement will bring awareness for you.
There are a few models that I can see working here -I will write a few out and you can tell me what resonates with you.

C Man said "You look very nice today"
T I should be thankful
F: _____________(How do you feel with this thought?)
A: think about how I should have responded, think about how I have worked on this for years and should have responded differently- what else?
R: (What is the result for YOU here) You are not thankful to yourself

C: Hair
T it is time to get my hair done
F What does this feel like? Take a few seconds, close your eyes - what does this feel like?
A When you are thinking that your hair should be different what do you do? What do you not do?
R: More evidence that you should be different that you are in this moment

If you take 10 minutes and do a thought download about the interaction you describe you can do lots of models- have fun with this!
You ask "Why did I say that to myself?" - do you know the answer? Hint: It is not your hair.

Please respond to this and we can continue this conversation!
You can also bring this to a 1:1 session.

Thank you for your response. Yes I am angry because I do care and want to be able to meet expectations, but it seems impossible- at least in the time frame that they want. One of my values is connection and I feel I don't have any time to do it with my colleagues or staff, barely with patients.

Yes angry is fair for the feeling.

A- because I'm angry, I don't enjoy my job, I second guess my decision to go into medicine, I don't speak with the staff as much (which I like to) because there's too much work, I don't want to go to work, I'm unhappy during workdays, snap at family, snap at support people who interrupt me, snap at people who try to defend my work place, have palpitations, can't wait to leave the office, can't wait to retire so that I can have control over my day. Spend time complaining about job at home, to family and to friends.

"In what ways is it serving you to be angry about the expectations of you at work" I don't see how it is serving me- I guess it gives me a reason for not wanting to go to work

"In what ways is it NOT serving you to be angry about the expectations of you at work" - it is getting in the way of me having a pleasant work experience, dread going to work even though I need to, making me have physical symptoms where I have to see my doctor, makes me short with people around me and sometimes I feel isolated.. I complain to family/friends which doesn't make me closer to them.

"Is it OK to be angry? Why or why not?" Yes I guess it is okay to be angry if I don't think it is fair- which I don't. I have to make adjustments to leave some room to breathe which I feel is their job to make conditions more reasonable. I'm angry that they don't see it or are slow at addressing it (over years). Many of us are struggling after dedicating years of our lives working in the practice and it makes me angry that we don't seem to be heard or valued.

Thanks.

ANSWER:
I'm so glad you brought this back here.

When you are thinking "Many of us are struggling after dedicating years of our lives working in the practice, and we are not heard or valued", it makes TOTAL SENSE that you feel angry. You have every right to be angry!

Our feelings and emotions are signals, they are neutral and aren't inherently good or bad. Anger is just as important and valid a signal as love, as joy, as connection. It's an important human emotion that we all get to feel.

We don't do gaslighting or toxic positivity here in BT, so we are NOT here to tell you to just change your thinking about your work so you can stop feeling angry, or to excuse away bad leadership by blaming you for feeling bad. Nope.

I do want explore how operating from anger in this case could be doubling down on pain for you by cementing your role as a victim in this situation (--> powerlessness), and leading you AWAY from your value of connection. Both of these things feel awful. As you said, it is getting in the way of you enjoying your work, and even contributing to actual physical symptoms. (I have been right there with you, friend).

The writer Byron Katie said "When we argue with reality, we lose. But only 100% of the time".
You think your work shouldn't be the way it is. You can think of a million things they could do to make it better. And maybe it WOULD be better! But that is not your reality right now, and resisting it is causing the existential pain of being outside of your values.

Let's play out a hypothetical situation.
Let's say nothing about work changes in the near term. RVU expectations say the same.

You are now familiar with your anger model. Are there other feelings you'd like to explore?

How would you know if it were time to leave?

What would you need to believe to feel OK (not great, just OK) about staying?

Where is your power here?

I hope you bring this back for more, friend. I know the work you are doing here really resonates with many people in this group.

Let's keep digging here.

C- patient is added to clinic schedule
T- I have no time to fit my other work into the day
F-dread
A- worry about the rest of the day, continue to think of it, day is filled with worry before during and after.
R- I color my other work with worry

Why is feeling dread a problem?
----> Well for me, dread is a problem since it leads to me over-worrying.

How can you support yourself, be on your own side, be kind to yourself, when a patient is added to your schedule and you initially feel dread.
----> I honestly don't really know. I can imagine that the "right" coaching answer here is to place my hand on my heart and say nice things. Or like light a nice candle and process the dread or something, but imaging these things only makes my skin crawl to be honest. Also, the idea of taking up. *more* time with other things intensifies the worry and dread. What I'm looking for I think is an alternative to the worry.

ANSWER:

Thank you for writing back. I want to say first that there is no "right" coaching answer. The goal here is not for you to only think nice things- that is toxic positivity and forced positivity at your own expense.
Here is the thing that the coaching model shows us:

You think the dread is the problem but it is not. It is your THOUGHTS about the dread. I know, I know- stay with me.

WHAT IF- you were really good at feeling dread. What if you were a ninja warrior at feeling dread. What if when you saw that extra patient you felt dread and recognized the feeling and thought- oh here is dread, this is normal-now what?

What we are teaching here is awareness of your own thought models.

A way to illustrate this to put dread as the circumstance.

C : DREAD
T: I do not want to feel dread.
F: worry
A: I worry about feeling dread, think about the extra patients and how I will not be able to get my work done- what else?
R: You feel more dread.

Know that the purpose of this work is not to have you feel better about seeing the extra patient. The goal is for you to feel the feelings you do have. Then, with clarity, decide where you want to go with it. The first step will always be to process the initial feeling and then move into a new model.

For example-
C: extra patient added to schedule
T: I can figure this out (this is an example of a new thought here)
F:
A:
R:

Let us know what you come up with here and we can continue our conversation.
Consider bringing this to a 1:1 coaching call as well.

I generally like my job (primary care) - and especially the variety that being in an academic institution allows me (lots of teaching, admin, non-clinical activities). I'm finding myself abnormally stressed out over seeing patients and I'm trying to figure out why. It shows up especially when I need to, say, add an extra clinic to make up for time, or when I have double booked a lunch time pt or something - I will just spin in dread the whole day or two before.
It doesn't make sense, what am I dreading?? I like patients, and don't want to be in dread about caring for them.

If I answer that ("what am I dreading") it's:
-feeling stretched thin, having to see too many patients in a short period of time feels like I have no time to fit my other work into that day (emails, keeping up with epic inbox, finishing teaching stuff, etc) and that "unproductivity" is an awful feeling. I also just don't like the feeling of having to always "keep up" with unending patient labs, imaging, etc.
Typing this feels ridiculous (like, "well what did you expect going into this job?? No patient care?"), but it's where I'm at.
I'd love some thoughts that decrease dread.

ANSWER
Hello Friend-
Thank you for writing in. I resonate so much with all you are saying! You have offered a wonderful thought download. First- I am hearing you judge yourself here. You wrote that typing your question felt ridiculous, which was you judging yourself for asking the questions. When we allow our feelings- and not tell ourselves that we should not feel that way- we eliminate much of our suffering.
After doing a thought download go back and circle the facts. Looking at your second paragraph- what are the facts that you see? I am seeing all thoughts.
Let's do a model.
C- patient is added to clinic schedule
T- I have no time to fit my other work into the day
F-dread
A- Fill in your actions here. What are you doing from this feeling of dread? What are you not doing? Fill in the page with these actions and inactions.
R- What do you think the result is here for you? I will offer that you are not using your time.

Why is feeling dread a problem?
What does it feel like? Take a few minutes, sit back and feel what that dread feels like in your body. Allow it. When we think thoughts such as "what did you expect when going into this job" be aware that you are judging yourself.
How can you support yourself, be on your own side, be kind to yourself, when a patient is added to your schedule and you initially feel dread.

Fill in the model and let me know and respond with what you come up with!

This is very eye opening to me. I see what you mean about having two well-practiced models. In fact, I even sometimes wonder (or berate myself more accurately) why is it that I can handle overwhelm at work, but can't I pull it together for the people I love at home.

At work:
C- There is unexpected bleeding during a procedure.
T- "I'm in charge here, I will direct those around me, and demonstrate my aptitude".
F - Determined
A- I move into a state that helps me focus on the urgent task at hand, I ask my brain to filter out the unimportant noise so I can lead with clarity, I take a deep breath in and a slow long breath out. I use my voice to speak up, command attention and direct next steps. I debrief once safe with those in the room.
R- I practice being a model of what is possible during "a storm"

At home:
C- I experience overwhelm at home, I go into another room, scroll on my phone for 20 minutes
T-"I'm no longer a good mom"
F- Disappointment
A- I judge and berate myself, I look for other evidence to prove I am not a good enough mom. I am short tempered with my husband and usually put an unrealistic expectation on him...then point out how he failed to achieve that absurd metric.
R- I practice abandoning myself during vulnerable moments.

Are you also deserving of that compassion, care, and connection when you are overwhelmed? What would that look like to care for yourself in that same way you meet others in their overwhelm?
-Yes, I am deserving, and should practice self-compassion. I should remind myself in those tricky moments that I am working on handling my response to the feeling of overwhelm, but that is hard work and its ok if I sometimes get it wrong.

What is a way a "good mom" can model how to process overwhelm?
-A good mom can acknowledge that sometimes things are hard. I can show my kids (particularly my oldest), that when I feel overwhelmed I am going to take a few deep breaths and forgive myself if I don't show up the way I want to. I will also take time to repair with my kids and husband once the overwhelming feelings pass.

C- ALL the noise is happening when I get home from work.
T- "I am noticing the sensations of overwhelm; I am working towards handling moments of overwhelm with more intentionality."
F - empowered
A- I take a *pause* but don't fully disengage from my family time. I suggest activities that are calm and turn off the music for a moment. I find humor in the situation.
R- I step into the role of calm, present and engaged parent, who sometimes struggles with difficult feelings.

🙂

ANSWER,
Oh my, this gave me chills to read.

This is really, really good stuff!

OK - I invite you to try that new thought ("I'm noticing the sensations of overwhelm...." on "in the wild". It probably won't stick the first (or second, or third) time, and that's OK.

Would LOVE to hear how this changes for you over the coming weeks. Feel free to bring back any barriers that pop up!

<3

1. As a human being, is it OK to experience the emotion of overwhelm sometimes? why/why not (come up with some reasons in both directions if you can)
I want to say it is ok to feel overwhelm...but in my (unrealistic) manual of a "good mom" or "good surgeon" that person keeps it together in the face of noise/chaos and is immune from the feeling of overwhelm; they are unflappable, they are stoic and calm. They are the lifeboat in the storm for those around them. So, when I do feel overwhelm, I almost lose my self-identity or orientation in a way, I think to myself, "you are no longer a good mom; you have strayed too far". But on the flip side, sure, being overwhelmed happens and it can happen to anyone, even good moms. Rather it's how you respond to that feeling that can define you. It is an opportunity to show those around you how to respond to strong emotion.

2. When you have a kid/friend/patient who is telling you or showing you that they are overwhelmed, what do you say to them? What do you think they need in that moment?
When my kid is struggling, I try to approach them and I offer my hands outreached. I let them know that when they are ready I am here for them, I take audible deep breaths and try not to talk. I tell them its ok they feel the way they feel. With patients, I give them space to talk, to get everything off their chest, I try to look them in the eyes and say "I hear you". With my friends, I listen to them and admittedly also try to help them FIX the problem; I should work on that too haha. I think people need to be acknowledged in those moments.

ANSWER:
Oh wow, friend, look at all this awareness and wisdom you have here!

I want to do an exercise where we see how your thoughts about overwhelm differ depending on your geography. I have a suspicion of two models you may have running. Let me know what you think

C- You experience overwhelm in the OR
T-" I'm in charge here this is an opportunity to show those around how to respond". or maybe "I am the lifeboat in this storm"
F______________ (Calm? stoic?)
A- You move into a state that helps you focus on the urgent task at hand, what is going to harm the patient *or worse*, you ask your brain to filter out the noise so you can lead with clarity, you take a deep breath, you lead, you acknowledge the discomfort of those around you, you show them the way through.(What else do see yourself doing or not doing from that emotion?)
R- You practice being a model of what is possible during "a storm"

You are VERY practiced in that model, and you probably have done enough reps to trust yourself in those moments.

Here's the other one:

C- You experience overwhelm at home, you go into another room, scroll on your phone for x minutes.
T-"I'm no longer a good mom"
F- ______________? (my guess is shame, but I could be wrong, what comes up here?)
A- you judge and berate yourself, you look for other evidence to prove you are not a good enough mom, maybe snap at your family? What else?
R- You practice abandoning yourself during your toughest times.

You are also very practiced in this model.

The answer to the 2nd question above has me tearing up. Look how generous, patient, gentle and caring you are with your kids, and with your patients. Look how you describe your body language, your tone of voice, your gestures.

Are you also deserving of that compassion, care, and connection when you are overwhelmed?

What would that look like to care for yourself in that same way you meet others in their overwhelm?

What is a way a "good mom" can model how to process overwhelm?

I have a very active 6 year old boy with strong personality.

C- I have to tell him to do something repeatedly before he does it or sometimes he does the opposite of what I say.

T- He is being disrespectful and defiant.

F- I get angry and also worry how he will turn out when he gets older if he continues acting the way he does.

A- We get into an argument and I raise my voice or put him in time-out.

R- Stressful relationship.

ANSWER:
Hello Friend-
Thank you for writing in- I can sense the frustration in your question.
Your initial statement “I have a very active 6-year old boy with a strong personality” is written as a fact. I want to offer to you that this is a thought. I wonder, when you think this thought,"my son is a boy with a strong personality" what are the feelings this brings up for you? why?

Let's take a look at your model.

C: I have a 6 year old son. (Be precise here- What did your son do or not do? For example: I asked X times for him to _______, and he _________).
T: He is disrespectful.
F: Angry (use one feeling per model)
A: Argue with son, raise my voice, put him in time out, worry about what he will be like when he is older, - (What else do from anger? What do you not do? What happens with your body?)
R: You do not foster a respectful relationship with your son or yourself at this moment

I am hearing that you are thinking your son should be doing things differently than he is. Of course this is because you care about him! It’s normal to want our kids to be obedient and respectful because we are conditioned to believe that this will make things easier for them as they grow up, (or at least will make them easier for us), right?. Maybe it does, and maybe it doesn’t. One thing that is true though, is whenever we want reality to be different we cause ourselves additional suffering.

A few questions to reflect on and bring back here for more:
What are you making it mean about YOU when your son does things that you think he should not?

What do you make that mean about HIM and his future?

I invite you to take the answer to one of those questions and put it in the T line of your next model. This is such important and powerful work, friend.

Thank you for bringing this question! Please respond and we can continue this discussion.

I realize the purpose of and want to be open to feedback.
Sometimes though feedback comes like a slap in the face and seems obviously biased and wrong (thoughts). How can I tell if those thoughts are worth keeping or not? I don't have a good pulse on my gut for this one and am trying not to act from a place of being justified or righteous.

C: Supervisor said I was wrong
T: No, he's wrong. I'm right and I think he's misunderstanding me.
F: Irritated
A: question myself, wonder if I'm just coming from a fixed mindset and acting childishly, people please toward him, then secretly fume inside.
R: I don't have any clarity here.

ANSWER:

HI friend!
Thank you for bringing your question to Ask for Coaching. We are so glad you are here and practicing your models.
Let's take a look.

C: Lets get really specific here- what are the words that were said. For example :Dr. X said "You are ...." This is helpful as the exact words that are said or written are facts and not an interpretation or a summary.
T: “I think he's misunderstood me.” We will have lots of thoughts about the circumstance- sometimes picking 1-3 of the thoughts that resonate with us is a good place to start. Use one thought per model. Another way this thought can be worded is "I am misunderstood" and in this way will reflect what you are thinking. After all, it is your model! Dr X is allowed to have their own models!
F: irritated. An exercise to try is sit back and repeat the thought to yourself. What is the feeling that comes up? There may be a few - give yourself a moment and see what comes up as the one you want to use in the model. Saying the feelings (in your head or out loud) can help.
A: question yourself
wonder about my mindset
act childishly ( what are you doing when you act childishly?)
people please towards him
fume inside
Ok, great! What else are you doing? What are you not doing? If we could look from above and see you what would we see? Think about what you do or don't do when you feel this way. You can read the model back to yourself when you are looking for more detail here.
R: I don't have any clarity here. Your result is proving your original thought. I would offer another result: you are generating more misunderstanding for yourself.

How does this land with you?
Our models provide awareness- they shine a light on our brain.
When you read your model back what comes up for you?

Here are a few questions to consider-
Why do you think you are feeling irritated?
Can you answer your question in your title? How WOULD you know if you were in a fixed mindset about this? How would you know if you were justifiably right?

I invite you to respond to this and we can continue our dialog. Again, thank you for writing in and for sharing your model!

Hello! I am a working mom and I get home right around dinner time. I love spending time with my kiddos and on the car ride home I am so excited to see them. When I walk in the door however, there is usually a LOT going on, music playing, kids running around (loudly), baby crying, dog barking, husband asking questions (mainly "what should we do for dinner?"), phone ringing...you get the idea. All that noise can sometimes overwhelm me and I get flustered and don't enjoy the precious moments I have with the kids. I would like to manage my sense of overwhelm in those moments. I know this is my season of life with young kids, and I don't want to miss out on the joy that comes along with that.
C- It's loud and busy when I walk in the door.
T- I can't handle the noise, I wish it was calmer at home.
F- overwhelmed
A- become not fully present, dissociate from the chaos, go to a different room, zone out on my phone (which is counter-intuitive because it seems like more stimulus)
R- not fully enjoy my time with kids/family.

ANSWER:
Friend, this resonates with me on a cellular or maybe even mitochondrial level. God forbid the oven hood gets turned on, because that will push me over the edge!

OK, I think the actual problem here is that you are judging yourself pretty harshly (Add this to your A line) for
a) wishing this time were different ("I should be enjoying these precious moments") and
b) taking moments for yourself in another room where it is quiet to do whatever solo activity you want to do. (maybe you think "I shouldn't need to get away from people I LOVE and want to be with", does that track?)

One fact about humans is that we get to feel overwhelmed sometimes.

Before we get to how you want to connect with your family during those high-stimulus hours, I want to start with how you might be be relating with yourself.

A few questions I hope you'll consider and bring back
1. As a human being, is it OK to experience the emotion of overwhelm sometimes? why/why not (come up with some reasons in both directions if you can)
2. When you have a kid/friend/patient who is telling you or showing you that they are overwhelmed, what do you say to them? What do you think they need in that moment?

Bring it on back here, friend

There is too much work to do in a day. The work day is very stressful because we have x number of RVUs to read. Many of my colleagues have to read studies the day before, get in early and/or read studies after work in order to finish their work- including me. Sometimes I feel totally exhausted and dread the work week. The people I work with are great and I like what I do, but I do not like the pace at which we need to perform at a very high level. It’s exhausting and I don’t know how to think about it differently. I hate wishing my life away waiting for the weekend. I feel terrible that I have trained for so many years to be unhappy.



C- I have to read x RVUs/day


T- It’s too much to do and very stressful


F- Frustrated, angry, anxious


A- I dread going to work some days, live for the weekends and vacation, eat breakfast and lunch at computer to take less time, work before the work day, am sometimes short with people interrupting me during the day, try to give my patients the time they need but the number of patients I need to see is in the back of my mind. Feel stress and pressured during the day.


R-Unhappy in my job which spills over to my family life when I bring my distress and frustration home which I have tried not to do for years but sometimes happens. Feel like I have made a costly mistake.
Thank you.

ANSWER:
Hello there, friend. I'm so glad you brought this here.
This is a perfect example of how to do a thought download and a model.

Friend, I can absolutely feel how painful this is for you.

In this program, we will NEVER try to get you to believe that something you think is bad/unreasonable/impossible is good/reasonable/possible just by "changing your thoughts".

You are angry because you CARE. You WANT to be able to meet expectations of you, You WANT to be able to apply the knowledge and skills you've spent your life devoted to learning in a way that is meaningful and impactful to your patients, you WANT to perform at a high level. When you feel that you can't do those things because of the expectations that are set for you are not reasonable/possible, it makes total sense that you are angry!

Where coaching can help you here is to see, when coming from anger, where you are taking actions that continue to drive you away from your values. That's where looking at your model can be really helpful.

I'm going to help clean up your model just a little bit.

C (this is neutral/factual)- Expectation of my employer is x RVUs/day.

T (narrative meaning application to the neutral fact)- That is too much to do and is very stressful

Feeling (for simplicity, choose ONE)- Angry (does that resonate with the thought above?, if not, what does?)

Actions (what actions/inactions of those you listed are fueled by anger)- entrench in the dread cycle of work=bad, home=good, you are short with people who interrupt you doing the day, what else do you do? (look for all the ways the expectations are unreasonable? Look for all the ways they take advantage of you? snap at your family? spend home time ruminating on work time? disengage from the parts of work that you DO enjoy? what else?)

Result- You double down on the experience of your anger by being angry at yourself for how it draws you away from what you really care about.

A few things I wonder if you can think about and bring back for more here:
In what ways is it serving you to be angry about the expectations of you at work (name at least 3, I am sure they exist)

In what ways is it NOT serving you to be angry about the expectations of you at work (name at least three, I'm sure they also exist).

Is it OK to be angry? Why or why not?

There is a lot of really important work to do here. I hope you bring this back!

I am very busy. I generally enjoy all the facets of my job, am fulfilled, and I like the diversity of it, but I find myself mostly consumed by work, and not all that "consumed" by my home life. Like, I haven't "gone out with friends" in a very long time. I never go shopping or get my hair cut. I have trouble keeping up with friend text chains or emails. I see my kids a decent amount, but if given the option I would usually choose to do work related things (yikes, I know!) - so I kinda feel like something is wrong with me and I'm missing out on the part of life that would actually make me happy. Or maybe I'm flawed and work does make me more happy than family/friends?

ANSWER:
Hi There! Thanks or being the first to ask for coaching here.

To start, I want to focus on separating your Circumstances (neutral, factual, these would go in the OBJECTIVE part of our SOAP note, like vital signs and exam findings).

Here are the circumstances (C) that I can pick out:
C- You have a job. You have friends. The last time you got your hair cut was (insert date), you get texts and emails, you have kids.

You also have a lot of narrative here about the different parts of your life. These are the THOUGHTS (T)
"I am very busy" (yes I know this feels very much like a fact, but since we have no objective marker for how to tell if someone is busy or not other than their own report, we have to agree this is subjective. I know! UGH!)

"I generally enjoy all the facets of my job"
"I am fulfilled"
"I find myself mostly consumed by work"
"something is wrong with me and I'm missing out on part of my life that would actually make me happy"
"I'm flawed [because] work makes me more happy than family/friends"

So to look at this in a MODEL, we pick out ONE thought. Of course there are many, but for this exercise we look at them one at a time. Let's start with this one

C- You have a job. You have friends. The last time you got your hair cut was (insert date), you get texts and emails, you have kids.

T- I'm flawed because work makes more happy than family and friends

F- ______________ (what feeling/emotion do you experience when you think that?)

A- _________________ (what actions/inactions are fueled by that emotion? get really juicy here and list as much as you can)

R- ___________________ (what is the sum of those actions/inactions for you? My guess is that you are withholding joy, happiness, satisfaction from yourself by judging yourself quite harshly).

OK friend,
I want to invite you to fill in the blanks in that model above and bring it back here for more coaching. In addition, you might consider these questions:
- how do you gauge your happiness?
- In what ways does it serve you to consider your personal and professional happiness/fulfillment as separate from each other?
- In what ways does it NOT serve you to consider your personal and professional happiness/fulfillment as separate from each other?

I hope you bring this back for more!

Welcome to Ask for Coaching! Here is a guide for how to get the most out of this type of coaching:

1) Title your question with something memorable for you. Unless you identify yourself in the title or in your request, your coaching request will be anonymous to other readers. If you want (and to make it easier for you to search and find your old posts later), you can add a tag unique to you (Ex: #abc)

2) Think of a topic you would like coaching on and do a thought download on it here in this space.

3) Try to pull out a thought and run it through a model (C-T-F-A-R) right below your download. It doesn't have to be perfect, just give it your best shot.

4) Hit "submit" at the bottom and one of your coaches will reply HERE within ~ 1-3 days. (Your request won't show up here until we post it with our response)

5) Come back here and search for your post (try to remember the title and scroll down until you find it), and you will see our answer in the text below your question.

6) Read the questions and coaching your colleagues receive - chances are lots of the coaching topics here will apply to you too!

7) Use this as much as you like, 24/7, for coaching on ANY topic. There's no wrong way to do this. There are no gold stars or failures. The more you ask for coaching, the more you will learn, grow and benefit from this course. We will keep our answers succinct and offer 1-3 questions for you to consider and bring back for more coaching. Feel free to respond back in a new post (there's no way to respond in a "thread"), or consider bring any follow up to a group coaching call.

8) Remember that this space is completely anonymous and of course confidential to our group. It's totally fine (and welcome!) to share successes, give support, shout-outs or love to your colleagues here too, doesn't always have to be a place for problems.

Coaching is OPEN! Bring it on, friends!